Things I Learned From Stupid People

Things I Learned From Stupid People!

Here I'm keeping an archived list of things that stupid people have taught me. These are all supposed "facts" about the world that an idiot sees through his eyes. If you believe any of the following, chances are you're a complete and utter moron that deserves to be shot in the head twice. Enjoy.

If a child is being picked on and harassed by dozens of other children, there must be something psychologically wrong with that child.
Six times seven is fifty-four.
Lucifer and Satan are one and the same.
When a woman is overweight, she must be pregnant.
When a black man makes fun of a white man, it's "okay." If a white man makes fun of a black man, he is "racist."
Abraham Lincoln and George Washington were honest men.
The Pilgrims and the Native Americans were friends.
A black hole is when a star crashes into another star.
All transgendered individuals are gay.
Middle political parties have a chance of winning the presidential office.
Trees are the tallest objects in the world.
Showing a teacher that she was wrong is enough demerit to earn a failing grade.
Teaching is sitting on your ass all day playing Solitaire on the computer while students read from a limited supply of books that cannot leave the classroom.
Passing all the tests in the class earns you a failing grade.
Weapons is pronounced "wee-pons."
Spelling any word the way you feel like is acceptable English, whereas proper English is not.
Things that I had nothing to do with are my fault.
A girl extending her leg out to trip you while you approach a flight of stone steps is fine, but calling her a "bitch" after barely catching your balance is behavior enough to get you into trouble.
Reading the rules posted on the classroom wall is behavior enough to get you into trouble.
Standing there behind you saying nothing is "calling your name for your attention."
After numerous recounts that showed George W. Bush won, Al Gore still won the 2000 election and was "robbed."
Bill Clinton could do no wrong.
Bill Clinton was the best president ever.
China is not a threat.
Because Bush is not well spoken, he is therefore an idiot. All shy people; therefore, must be idiots as well.
George W. Bush has the lowest I.Q. score of every president we ever had.
A Yale and Harvard degree means you are stupid, whereas an eighth grade education means you are smart.
All Republicans are evil and all Democrats are good.
All Americans are good and all Muslims are evil.
All Muslims are good and all Americans are evil.
When Clinton bombed Iraq, it was cool. When Bush declared war on Iraq, it was evil.
You're forced to say the Pledge of Allegiance.
Y2K would fuck up the world.
There's a tenth planet that's going to destroy us all in the year 2003.
Everything that even looks strange to Richard Hoagland in a photo of Mars' terrain is proof that there was life on it.
There was never a Hale-Bopp comet.
Fresh, new testing equipment for biological and chemical weapons is not enough evidence to say Iraq had such things.
The war on Iraq is a war for oil.
The Taliban were not using their own citizens as shields in Afghanistan.
In the 2000 election, the senile senior citizens didn't fudge up their ballots but trained military fudged up their absantee ballots.
Al Gore invented the Internet.
Al Gore got better grades in school than George W. Bush.
Al Gore wasn't just another puppet for Hillary Clinton to rule the U.S. with.
George W. Bush is the cause of the collapsing economy that started in 2000 with the Enron scandal and the California energy crisis when he wasn't officially president until Febuary of 2001.
George W. Bush is a puppet for Dick Cheney, even though Cheney didn't join Bush's presidential campaign until much later.
George W. Bush is exercising too much power as president.
George W. Bush is eviler than Saddam Hussein.
The U.S. government is worse than Nazi Germany.
Waiting six months for U.N. approval is rushing into the Iraqi war.
Waiting six months for U.N. approval is ignoring the U.N. entirely.
The U.N. is the world government.
The U.S. Constitution prevents us from interfering in other countries.
Abraham Lincoln was a member of the Democratic-Republicans.
Marilyn Manson claimed to be Goth and is therefore a poser.
Mana looks like Marilyn Manson.
Napoleon Bonaparte was just as bad as Adolf Hitler.
Something Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin said 200 years ago applies now to today's society with terrorists.
Republican presidents are always wrong and a movie star's word is gospel.
That second bomb we dropped on Saddam's house in an attempt to quickly kill him was actually dropped on a restaurant.
It's a scary thing that George W. Bush believes in God.
There is no Shadow Government.
North Korea's pathetic cries for attention is something to worry about.
Being from Texas is a bad thing.
Killing around 30 innocent Iraqis is the most horrible thing in the world, even though their leader Saddam Hussein has purposely killed millions of Iraqis himself.
The few hundred war casualties the U.S. has inflicted in the Middle East is worst than the thousands we lost on 9/11 when we were attacked by Middle Eastern extremists.
The war on Iraq will lead us into World War III.
No one hates Canada, even though it's part of the Western World that the terrorists hate.
Only Christians go to Heaven.
There is significant proof for evolution.
There is significant proof for creationism.
Jesus was the Messiah, even though he didn't rebuild the Temple and unite all the Jews into Jerusalem.
Every word in the Bible is the truth.
The Necronomicon is real.
French fries are from France.
Homosexuals are engaging in evil and sinful behavior.
Complimenting a woman's outfit is sexual harassment.
The Moon is slowly moving closer to the Earth and will eventually cause the Earth to resemble an apple core, then finally become a "Moon sandwich."
The new Star Wars movies are worse than the originals.
As vast as the universe is, Earth is the only planet with life on it and that was just an accident.
TV shows like Farscape and Invader Zim didn't expand enough past their current fanbase to stay on the air, whereas "reality shows" do.
A Beautiful Mind was a better movie than The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring.
Chicago was a better movie than The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers.
The Two Towers was a heartless insult towards 9/11.
Harry Potter teaches witchcraft to young children.
Dungeons & Dragons and other RPGs cause people to practice witchcraft, worship Satan, and become homosexual.
D20 is not turning every RPG into the same game.
Magic is real.
Satanists actually worship Satan.
Beelzebub and Satan are one and the same.
There is no order in chaos.
Writing stupid fanfics on the Internet is more important than college.
Seattle is the capital of Washington.
Los Angeles is the largest country in the world.
If your house is robbed, the police will give you money to buy new stuff.
Russians are responsible for UFOs.
Rap doesn't suck.
Tupac is still alive.
Elvis is still alive.
Fish is not meat.
Bill Clinton selling weapons to China was a good thing.
The world is flat.
Two words: "Global Warming."
Sharks are whales.
The only thing Nazis ever did was kill people. Not once were they over-controlling fascists bent on eliminating self-expression.
A rogue tenth planet is going to swing around the inner solar system in 2003 and destroy all life on Earth.
Anarchy and anarchism are not the same thing and are no way in relation of each other.
White Wolf's Time of Judgement—killing the company's cash cows—was a smart business move.
White Wolf has a credible case in its lawsuit against Sony Pictures for Underworld.
Having cancer means you can do no wrong.
The Greys—aliens reported during abductions—are the good guys.
There's nothing morally wrong or evil about cannibalism.
The Rolling Stones don't suck.
We're not in a Depression.
Lost In Translation should have won best picture instead of The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King.
Howard Dean would win the Democratic nomination for presidential candidate.
3.5 is the worst thing to ever happen to D&D.
Skull & Bones is just a harmless little frat.
Gay marriage should be illegal.
Homosexual relationships are comparable to cannibalism, necrophilia, pedophilia, and bestiality.
John Kerry is not as bad and corrupt as George W. Bush.
John Kerry is the better than George W. Bush and thus "the lesser of two evils."
Count Dracula was the first sophisticated and gentlemanly vampire to ever appear in fiction.
We would never capture Saddam Hussein.
Saddam Hussein is dead.
Osama bin Laden is dead.
The draft bill was proposed by Republicans.
Gaia is not a Greek elder goddess.
Threatening a couple of asshats who troll a topic you've started is threatening the entire forum.
Nuclear is pronounced "nu-cu-lar."
George W. Bush was president during the California energy crisis.
Just because we can, America should be policing the world.
Michael Keaton made a good Batman.
The Lord Of The Rings books are better than the movies.
The Lord Of The Rings movies are better than the books.
The Presidential Election 2004 wasn't a sham.
J.R.R. Tolkien was a bad writer and/or storyteller.
H.P. Lovecraft was a Goth, and his writing is Gothic.
The MiGs found burried in Iraq isn't proof that anything can be burried under the sand.
The Republicans and Democrats haven't become the same party.
There isn't an Illuminati that's secretly manipulating everything.
There is no liberal bias in the news media.
Osama bin Laden was endorsing John Kerry.
A giant comet would end the world at the end of September 2004.
Everything the Commander in Chief orders should be blamed on the U.S. military.
George W. Bush deserved another 4-year term.
Anything I have wrote in here in the past means I am pro-Bush.
Pandering is "flip-flopping."
The Matrix Reloaded was a bad movie.
The Matrix Revolutions was a bad movie.
We're "fighting terrorism" in Iraq.
America becoming a theocracy is potentially a good thing.
Star Trek: Enterprise deserved another season.
Farming in the desert isn't difficult at all.
Evening ends at 7:00pm.
The proper way to spell Mjolnir—the hammer of Thor—is "Miljolnir."
Christine Gregoire won the Washington state governor's race with a landslide victory.
Christine Gregoire won without cheating in the Washington state governor's race.
Dino Rossi makes Christine Gregoire look like a saint.
It's legal for the dead and prisoners to vote in elections.
9/11 was set up and ordered by our own president.
We've never gone to the Moon.
There is indisputable evidence that there is no God.
There is indisputable evidence that there is a God.
A community is responsible for what a couple rogue members did outside of it.
City of Heroes is infringing on Marvel Comics' business.
Marvel Comics has a better argument in their City of Heroes lawsuit than White Wolf did in their Underworld lawsuit.
The movie adaptation for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy won't suck.
Waterworld was a bad movie.
A Magic: The Gathering card with a lot of strange abilities is too unbalanced despite a high casting cost and vulnerability to spell cards such as Instants.