Bizarre Referrals


My web site has a statistics page set up, telling me details about who's looking at my page, what parts of the world, referrals from other web sites and so on. It's rather interesting to look at, and sometimes entertaining. I'm always eager to see how popular my web site has become. But sometimes the statistics become just plain weird.

Very weird indeed... I'll explain what I mean. First the search strings. A search string is the text typed into a search engine like Google and brings up a web page. If the person clicks on one of the many resulting links leading to my pages, my statistics page records it. I've found some really weird stuff listed under those monthly search string entries. "Gay magic", "things that black people bitch about", and "things that stupid people say in college" were just some major highlights of January 2004. I've also discovered frequent requests for "middle finger."

This is all well and good, knowing that my web site is being discovered; I hope I've offended enough people. But I often wonder what the hell people are thinking when they type these requests into the search engines. I wish that "gay magic" existed. Surprisingly, on this month of February, I found a search string request for "roleplaying flash hentai." I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't have anything like that here. Actually, I'm rather glad I don't have anything like that here. Fuckin' perverted weirdoes.

I become a little shocked and paranoid when I see the U.S. government and military accessing my web site. Maybe they've discovered my plans for world domination finally! Well let me tell you... YOU'LL NEVER STOP ME! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Cough cough!*

Now onto the referrals from pages that aren't search engines. I find a lot of this weird thing that leaves a "XXX:++++++++++" trail. I have no fuckin' idea what that is, but it leaves me quite perplexed. Maybe it's one of the search engine spiderbots updating its index of my site. I dunno. I get other referrals too, usually from places I visit regularly such as message boards. And now recently, I've been getting referrals from forums I've never even visited... most surprisingly a Christian forum!

Imagine! Me getting a linkup from a Christian forum and no hatemail to show for it. It boggles the mind! Surely there would be at least one fanatic who would find my site offensive enough and possess time to waste as he or she writes me a nasty letter. Maybe I had the luck of falling across the more abundant, tolerant type of Christians (my blessings to you all for possessing open minds). But I'll predict that this article alone will generate me some hatemail sooner or later. Go ahead, idiots, waste that time of yours writing me a badly punctuated letter of trolling flame.

I've also got a linkup from something called Nucleus Web in its message boards. There too, seems to be a heavy influence of Christians... and still no flaming hatemail. I find this oddly strange. I tried searching through both forums to discover where the linkups occured, but without any luck. There's just simply way too much activity at those places.

Another forum that referred to me that I never visited was the message boards of Star Destroyer.net and I found the thread right here! It was an image linkup of my Monty Python Spanish Inquisition image, which truthfully I'm trying to figure out how they got access to. I'm tempted to register there and accuse the bastard of bandwidth theft. God damn bandwidth thieves.... Anyway, maybe this might also explain the other two forums... it figures that a Christian would break their own rule of "Thou shalt not steal!"

Oh God I hope I offended someone now... I feel like entertainment.